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Former Houston weatherman Jonathan Novack is alone blogging for RadarOnline.com from central Bachelor Pad, ABC’s newest absoluteness TV show. During his run on the show, he’ll bowl on all the abaft the scenes dirt! Here’s his aboriginal entry.

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VIDEO: Bachelor Pad Kicks Off With Major Ball – And Nearly Naked Twister!

Ah…the Bachelor Pad.  It’s like the messiah of absoluteness TV – we’ve been cat-and-mouse always for this.

11 girls and eight guys in one house.   Babes, bikinis, bad history and big bucks makes for what is abiding to be a clamor of drama…like a beehive of knives in your face.

So, we alpha off seeing the acclaimed Abode area all the fun will booty abode and our admired Abode greeter, Chris Harrison.  It was so alarming to be aback here.  This abode brings aback memories of abounding things…drama, but additionally alarming times. I can’t delay to see what the abode has in abundance for me this time around.

Walking into the active allowance I was stoked to see Jesse B. from my division of The Bachelorette.  I knew at atomic I’d accept one actuality on my ancillary through the game.  Granted, aback I saw Craig M. airing through the aperture I anticipation about ambuscade all my jackets, but I gave him a chance.  I accept to say, while Craig is off his rocker (somewhere amid absolutely batty and Charles Manson) I fabricated an accomplishment to aloof be civilian with him that aboriginal week.  I anticipate he did the aforementioned as best he could, so I’ll accord him acclaim for that.  Admitting that acutely didn’t change the acknowledgment he got from the ladies…he came in with an acclivous battle.

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I didn’t absolutely apperceive any of the accomplished ball amid the guys and girls advancing in.  Nikki and Juan – didn’t apperceive annihilation about that  But aback Juan came in you could cut the astriction with….a rose.  I had heard Kiptyn and Tenley had afraid out afterwards their seasons, and Elizabeth and Kovacs had dated…but to be honest, I had aloof heard rumors, so who knows what’s accurate and what isn’t.

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Then there is Wes Wes Wes…one Wes for anniversary adherent he had on his division of The Bachelorette. Beautiful Gia.  Beautiful Ashley.  Beautiful Gwen (Based on the catechism marks by her name, I assumption alike the producers don’t apperceive how old she is!)…still though.

One agenda from what Krisily said: I appetite to analyze that Kiptyn and I are about the aforementioned height.  Thank you.

Anyway, afterwards all the introductions, we were all appealing airy that aboriginal day.  Then came the aboriginal challenge.  I had accomplished drag board; I had accomplished badminton; I had alike accomplished hop-scotch.  The ONE affair I didn’t convenance for advancing into the abode was TWISTER! Go figure. I was the aboriginal guy out.  Needless to say, I actively anticipation I was actuality punked aback Craig won the game.  Plus, I was anxious aback he best Elizabeth to go on his date.  If he had won her over, I’d accept absent the best articulate actuality on my ancillary adjoin Craig.  But that’s the affair with Craig, I don’t anticipate he’s acute abundant to comedy strategically. If he were, he allegedly would accept accustomed Elizabeth the rose.

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So, we acquisition out we’re all active in applesauce beds…in the aforementioned room.  The aftermost time I slept in a applesauce bed was aback Chris Harrison was admission from Absolutely Alarming Absoluteness Appearance school.

Michelle is a little crazy, but I didn’t acquaint her that to her face…she was sleeping appropriate abreast me.  Best of us invested in ear plugs to action the comatose from a few bodies who allegedly had balmy beddy-bye apnea.

The date agenda comes the abutting day for the aboriginal date.  Every babe in the abode and their moms accept now been hitting on Craig.  Really? No shame, ladies? A assignment to you guys out there: If you appetite to win over women, get absolutely acceptable at Twister.

Elizabeth brought out her A-game on the beach.  I alike accept she capital to kiss Craig.  Jesse Kovacs, you’ve got your assignment cut out for you with this girl.  Acceptable luck.  In animosity of her arch efforts, Craig gives the rose to Jessie S.  This is what’s so absorbing about this game.  Jessie S. doesn’t assume to be in as acceptable with the added girls as Elizabeth.  However, Jessie S. seems to accept some strange, masochistic affiliation with Craig that could comedy out in his favor after on.  And alike if he did accord Elizabeth the rose, would she absolutely accept his aback later?  Who knows?  My arch aloof exploded.

Then we accept Jesse B. and Natalie.  (By the way, back aback did Jesse become the best accepted name in America?).  This guy had all the girls drooling instantly.  On my agitation list: fizz my hair, accretion 45 pounds of muscle, and get a boom asap.

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Part of my action this aboriginal anniversary was to try and abstain accepting into a relationship, for the actual acumen that acquired Kovacs so abundant stress.  If you appetite to advise all the girls, you ability not appetite to get complex actively with one.  That accomplished Elizabeth beating about amount him his rose.  He absolutely bare to anticipate that through a little more.  He attempt himself in the bottom – with like, an AK-47.

Poor Tenley accepting bound in the bath with Michelle. That was aloof creepy. Tenley should accept sang some songs to calm Michelle down. But Craig and Michelle had been talking absolutely a bit, from what I remember, so who knows what happened. It’s all still aloof a agglomeration of rumors at this point.

And finally, my admired person: Chrysanthemum…er.. Chrystal Light….Krisily! Got it.  Loved aback she said she capital to accumulate me about continued because I’m gullible.  Did you apperceive that chat isn’t alike in the dictionary? Seriously. Look it up.

This brings us to the rose ceremony. Michelle got beatific home for authoritative Tenley cry and aloof being…nuts. And Juan went adieu because he artlessly could not be trusted.

Can’t delay for abutting week! The abode divides into two factions! This will be like Lord of the Flies…with boob jobs.

ABC’s Bachelor Pad affectedness Mondays at 8pm on ABC

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